HORSE HIT LIST

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BLEEDING KANSAS

CRIMES: Our best friend band in the whole world didn't thank us in their new CD, Dead Under Decor. Check out these bands they barely even know that they thanked just so people would think they were cool: Ali (unbelievable, he is our old merch guy), Curl Up and Die, and Fear Before the March of Flames, who I don't think they have ever even met in their life!!!!! Bleeding Kansas, you are dead under decor to us. Call me. Email Bleeding Kansas and tell them how bad they fucked up.

CHIODOS

CRIMES: Crimes against humanity. Not responding to our emails making fun of them. Being more popular than us. Getting fat. All having the same haircut. Closing their eyes when they sing. BUT! They did make an even funnier video than we did last year. Email Chiodos and tell them what they have done.

CAT RECORDS, OUR RECORD LABEL

CRIMES: 1. Not making Combat Records' Energy Drink, which would generate extra revenue for the label 2. Biting tanks in half 3. Not changing their name to "Cat Records" yet. Email Combat Records the recipe for the energy drink. It is in the News section of the website.

14 YEAR OLD GIRLS

CRIMES: Starting a feud with us and then getting butt hurt aaaaawwwwwwwwwww. Last night their guitarist said he hoped Nathan died in a car accident on his way home and that next time he saw him he was going to get his face bashed in by a faggot. That's homophobic! Email the 14 Year Old Girls and tell them to stop dropping that they are gay and half Mexican every 18 seconds. No one cares. What matters is that they suck balls and we RULE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

METROID THE BAND

CRIMES: Naming their band Metroid the band. Saying we owe them an apology. It is their own fault. These guys are not in too much trouble yet so go easy on them.